i hate myself!!!
I don’t know but I hate myself!...Actually, it’s my father that I hated…Everytime he speaks to me, he never fails to hurt me or insult me (sabi nya d nmn daw sya nang iinsulto or sumthing)….i just hate him so much (n very ironic kc wen I was a kid, it’s him dt I lyk most compared to my mama) and for that reason, I hate myself for hating him…i try naman my best not to fuel the hatred n from my observation nmn, he’s doing his best din..dnt know no pro bigla na lng out of nowhere may pag-uusapan kmi den we’d end up arguing na nmn hahay!!! Ambot na lng gyud!!! Heeeelp!!! huhuhu…minsan tatahimik na lng c ako para k na pero…HELLOOOW?!
I really dnt wana hate him kasi po sya “ang aking dakilang ama” It’s just that maybe he has opinions n i too have mine..he voices it out n of course d ko rin tinatago opinion ko…o cge na, cguro dapat pag sa tingin ko it wd js cause us to argue agen e cguro gagawin ko na lng ang kinagisnan kong defense mechanism no? at yun ay…TUMAHIMIK..pero my god nmn oh! sawang-sawa na ako!!! Sabi pa ng sis ko kasalanan ko daw kaya d dpat ako magalit, attitude problem ko daw dahilan…suyaaa!!! all I wanted lng nmn is to express myself!...fine!
Kasalanan ba yn? Lord help huhuhu… =(
O sya sya…sasabihin ko na kung ano nangyari kung bat ko nagawa etong blog na ito…ang panget no? kakastart pa nga lng e hatred na kaagad ang topic…actually, tagal ko na gusto mgkaroon ng blog kya lng la akong ma isispang isusulat e…e ngayon, I wna shout ryt at dis moment pro d pwede bka magtaka ang aking ka-pamilya at ka-puso kya etong blog ang pinagdiskitahan ko…na feel ko na ds wd be therapeutic…
I really cnt understand myself..i was so furious to d point na umiyak na ako ng patago sa room..corny no?...la na akong ibang ginawa kundi humiga trying to relax n force myself to sleep kc later hav to prepare myself to go to d gym daw..d nmn ako nagjigym kya lng nagpasama kc sis ko cz they wnt to start a new life by being sexy n mag jigym na daw n off ko nmn sa work ds day kya join na lng daw ako…e kya lng m so furious or whatever kya d ko kayang bumangon at maligo at mag gym (so no choice ibubuking ko na lng na la me guli prior to d creation of this blog thingy)..kya ayun galit ang kapatid ko, kaya galit din ako no…i dnt know how to console myself na, den bigla ko na lng na isipan na poets do write a poem or anything wenever they feel extreme feelings such as this..kaya na isipan ko..”y not?” (feeling poet no?)..n sa blog ko na lng kya gagawin para online ang diary ko (char!)...hay I js wna let out ds feeling..gusto kong mag come out, parang lesbian no? haha..( c d therapeutic effect?)
Nways, story na ko oink…m sure kinefoy na rin kayo maghintay sa story behind d creation of ds blog…come to think of it? now dt ive experienced d therapeutic effect of “blogging” (kng may word mn na ganun) my father is nt dt bad after all..parang ang babaw pala ng nangyari kanina..sorry pa, I now appreciate u…d ko na lng ikukwento..char lng!!! Hahaha…ang oa ko pala tsk tsk tsk. . .
I really dnt wana hate him kasi po sya “ang aking dakilang ama” It’s just that maybe he has opinions n i too have mine..he voices it out n of course d ko rin tinatago opinion ko…o cge na, cguro dapat pag sa tingin ko it wd js cause us to argue agen e cguro gagawin ko na lng ang kinagisnan kong defense mechanism no? at yun ay…TUMAHIMIK..pero my god nmn oh! sawang-sawa na ako!!! Sabi pa ng sis ko kasalanan ko daw kaya d dpat ako magalit, attitude problem ko daw dahilan…suyaaa!!! all I wanted lng nmn is to express myself!...fine!
Kasalanan ba yn? Lord help huhuhu… =(
O sya sya…sasabihin ko na kung ano nangyari kung bat ko nagawa etong blog na ito…ang panget no? kakastart pa nga lng e hatred na kaagad ang topic…actually, tagal ko na gusto mgkaroon ng blog kya lng la akong ma isispang isusulat e…e ngayon, I wna shout ryt at dis moment pro d pwede bka magtaka ang aking ka-pamilya at ka-puso kya etong blog ang pinagdiskitahan ko…na feel ko na ds wd be therapeutic…
I really cnt understand myself..i was so furious to d point na umiyak na ako ng patago sa room..corny no?...la na akong ibang ginawa kundi humiga trying to relax n force myself to sleep kc later hav to prepare myself to go to d gym daw..d nmn ako nagjigym kya lng nagpasama kc sis ko cz they wnt to start a new life by being sexy n mag jigym na daw n off ko nmn sa work ds day kya join na lng daw ako…e kya lng m so furious or whatever kya d ko kayang bumangon at maligo at mag gym (so no choice ibubuking ko na lng na la me guli prior to d creation of this blog thingy)..kya ayun galit ang kapatid ko, kaya galit din ako no…i dnt know how to console myself na, den bigla ko na lng na isipan na poets do write a poem or anything wenever they feel extreme feelings such as this..kaya na isipan ko..”y not?” (feeling poet no?)..n sa blog ko na lng kya gagawin para online ang diary ko (char!)...hay I js wna let out ds feeling..gusto kong mag come out, parang lesbian no? haha..( c d therapeutic effect?)
Nways, story na ko oink…m sure kinefoy na rin kayo maghintay sa story behind d creation of ds blog…come to think of it? now dt ive experienced d therapeutic effect of “blogging” (kng may word mn na ganun) my father is nt dt bad after all..parang ang babaw pala ng nangyari kanina..sorry pa, I now appreciate u…d ko na lng ikukwento..char lng!!! Hahaha…ang oa ko pala tsk tsk tsk. . .
posted by LittLe at 9:54 PM
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