behind the scene

Before, I have made up my mind…I have asked some of my friend’s point of views about this thing goin’ on inside my mind…it’s been battling inside my head until I can no longer help but seek their advices….these are few of the “words of wisdom” that shook my head…and blast it! A decision is born!

“Everybody has their reasons tle, but it should not be your reason too.”
- Cha-Cha

“kaon sila kalayo, kaon sad ka?”
- Coi-Coi

“Kung ako, dli nko magmed, grab the opportunity, bata pa ka, single pa (gwapa pa..i js added this myself for ego booster), pag abroad na mo, impractical na magmed…”
- Ma'am Gina

“Make sure lang happy ka.”
- Mark

“Mag med ka? Ayaw na…daghan man opportunities sa gawas, pero kaw kung gusto jud ka, dapat hugot-bakos jud ka.”
- Ma'am Melba

"Diba gusto jud ka mag med?..pag med na lang…diba karon na time dili man practical mag med, pero bisag unsa pa imo kuhaon na course kung dili nimo love, feeling nimo kulang…char!

Me: sure ka? Kaw contented na ka? Drama na ni..pero cge lang panagsa lang bitaw ta mag ani..

Pag med lagi…tan-aw man gud nako sa imo na dili jud nimo linya ang medtech…pang doctor jud beauty nimo dai (some doctors are haggard looking..now I wonder, shoud I be happy?)..pag med na! ako ok na ko sa akong life..kontento nko..drama jud ni dai…

Me: dili ni tinanga? Mananghid nko na magresign na ko?

Sige lang dugay naman ka tanga…kung sure na ka pananghid na hapit na baya june! Daghan pa ka i-follow up

Me: 15 days before ba mananghid?

O diba tama ko na tanga ka?
- Shielah

Thanks friends…can’t imagine life without you!

hear ye! hear ye!

Shiyet! Dizizit!...Finally! I’ve decided!…I never thought that life would turn out this way!...truly life has its twists and turns and my life is a perfect proof of that.

No matter what you do with your life, no matter how you take control of it, when God doesn’t allow it, He doesn’t allow it!...it’s already been dayssss that I’ve been discerning, praying, thinking…to be? or not to be?…that undying question has taken the whole of me for almost a month now…then poof! Without any warning…God has spoken! And so be it!

This month is really big…in just this month I’ve been confused and now I’ve seen the light…in just this month, I’ve turn life into a different direction…put life to a new possibility and explore the vaaast horizons of what we call, life.

I’ve already stepped my foot in it and please, God, allow it to take the whole of me…May this decision be your decision…May this act be your act…

Faithful minions! My decision has now achieved full bloom…so sit back, relax and brace yourselves, `coz I have yet another world to conquer!

Med school, here I come!

naks!

inside my mind, i desperately ponder
what does life could bring, here under
they say, options are there…
so just pick one
problem is?
hell yeah! can’t pick none!
clock my dear goes tic tac, so hurry!
knock! knock! u listenin’?
time knows no waitin’
be hasty!

clap! clap! clap!...is this a product of a confused mentality? o pinaninindigan lang ang blog title? whatever it is…take pride of yourselves, `coz you’ve just witnessed the launching of my first poetic attempt hahaha…pero that’s what really is in me these days…

Tsk!

Game ka pa ba?

So what now? May na..d na talaga papa-awat…patanda na tayo ng patanda…not that my birthday falls on May…it’s just that, June is fast approaching, enrollment is now going on and soon classes starts…I can almost hear you say “so what?”

Yeah right, “so what?”…I’m no longer a student anyway…but that’s the point...I’m already a career woman (ehem!)…and being so, makes me wonder if this is the career that I wanna do for the rest of my life…I have no complains with my working environment, truth is, I’m enjoyin’ it, maybe because I love my “ka-lab”…in fact, I guess they are the reasons why until now, I’m not leaving my work and just forget about my minimum wage salary but maximum work load (which reminds me, labor day pala ngayon)…but with regards to my “work” per se, that…I have complainsss.

When I was still in college, my path was crystal clear…after I graduate, I’d take the board exam then I’ll take proper med to be a doctor “someday”...but when I reviewed for this exam that would give you the license to work in the “green lands” I have classmates who somehow inspired me to go abroad and stop fantasizing about being a doctor “someday”…and that’s why I found myself working in a hospital to gain “experience” (one hell of experience I might say hehehe)…

But right now, after over a year of gaining “experience”…I’m having second thoughts (more like, bazillion thoughts) …it’s like I’m in a middle of a crossroad…coz until now, I can’t see a clear pathway on how to get myself to work abroad, it’s like I’m just wasting my time gaining this “experience”…I’ve asked myself questions:

- Are there really opportunities for med techs there?
- Would I find happiness if I earn dollars?
- Is working abroad the reason why God put me here in this world?
- Am I ready to face my life as a student again or just loving the idea of quitting “work”?
- Am I willing to give up my happy-go-lucky state of life right now?
- If I’d be a doctor “someday” would I be serving God’s purpose and be truly fulfilled?

I still can’t find answers to these questions, clueless (bat d ba pwedeng sagutin ako ni lord ng live)…Haaay, “why not take proper med?”...if only I did, I’d be a doctor not far from now…God, am I in deep shit? Makes me think that life’s no longer a game no more ...

Can I phone a friend …Fifty-fifty… Ask the audience?